The Dance of Dating

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Dating is like going to a club to dance. As you approach the door, you hear the pulsating music float on the air, smell the mixture of cologne, perfume, and alcohol, and feel the heat rushing outside. As you enter the darkened room, you see dozens of potential dance partners. Everyone looks dazzling, but you have no idea if they are a saint or Satan underneath their shiny façade. It would be so much easier if everyone just wore a warning label that told the truth about themselves. The man leaning on the bar would have a label that said “never texts back.” The woman dancing in the black mini-dress would have a label that said “can’t hold down a job.” These kinds of labels would surely help the selection process, but since they don’t exist singles everywhere need to utilize the best dating tips available. Here is just a handful of some of the best dating tips I have found.

#1: Take a long car ride. Grab a drink and some snacks and invite the person you’re dating to take you on a long drive. They have to be the one behind the wheel. When people are out for a casual drive, then tend to relax. Their attention will be primarily on the road and secondarily on the conversation. This has the effect of catching them a bit off guard but in a comfortable environment so they will be open and honest with you. Plus, you are sitting side by side and that can be less intimidating for some people than sitting across from each other staring into each other’s eyes.

#2: Ask about their family. Let them ramble on for a while and eventually they will say something sad. At that point, you can reach out and touch their arm and say, “that must be very hard for you.” This sympathetic response can help create a bond and encourage them to open up even more.

#3: Compliment people as often as possible. It’s especially important to tell the person you are dating why you like them. This general positivity is not only contagious, it helps keep your mood positive and will lift your spirits.

#4: Tell a vulnerable story. Be willing to share something close to your heart with the person you are dating. It can be something you are passionate about. It can be something that hurt you deeply. It can be something that taught you a mighty life lesson. The willingness to be vulnerable is attractive and will invite the person you’re dating to be vulnerable with you.

#5: If the person you are dating hasn’t responded to your last two texts, don’t text them again for any reason. Period.

#6: Read. Someone who reads is a more interesting person, in general, than someone who doesn’t. Read books. Learn new things. People who read fiction and nonfiction are able to empathize better with others than those who do not read. Reading helps you to grow and change and become a new and better person than you were.

Remember that early on in a dating relationship, it should be all unicorns and roses and butterflies and magic. There shouldn’t be any drama. As time goes on, things will pop up and watching how the person you are dating deals with problems and conflict is an important part of determining if they are the right person for you. Everyone is flawed, but make sure that the flaws that are revealed to you as you date are ones that you can live with. If they aren’t, you need to end the relationship. There are many dancers in the metaphorical club and you don’t need to settle for just any dance partner. So, put on your best party dress and get ready to kick up your heels and dance.

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