With around 15.4 single mothers in the United States, there is a good chance that you may end up dating one, especially if you are dating in your 30s, 40s, and 50s. While some men may shy away from dating a woman with children, they are overlooking some specific benefits.
First, single mothers are practical. They do not sweat the small stuff. While they appreciate being wined and dined, they are also just as happy with a fun picnic at the park. They appreciate the small and simple things in life. They know that even the best laid out plan can go swiftly sideways and they have learned to laugh at these spontaneous disasters. They will not hold things against you if your plans do not work out the way you intended. They will not see it as a flaw in your character or as a failure on your part. They will be able to laugh it off with you the way they have laughed off dozens of other such occasions with their own children.
Second, her history has taught her what it takes to be a good partner, and she is ready to apply all that knowledge to her next relationship. Additionally, she is fine-tuning her nurturing skills as she cares for her children. She knows how to sacrifice and put others first. She intuitively knows how to anticipate the needs of others and she will do the same for you. There is something beautiful in how a mother balances the demands of each of her children with the demands of running a household and, often, working full time.
Finally, if she falls for you, it is the real deal. She has learned to be guarded and reserved with her emotions, so if she gives her heart to you, you can be sure that it was not just on a whim. Rest assured she has weighed all the pros and cons about you and tried to talk herself out of falling for you several times before she allowed herself to open her heart. However, once she does, she is all in. She will give you all of her love, attention, and support.
If you have the wonderful opportunity to date a single mother, you should never say several things to her if you want to have a second (or third or fourth) date.
- You look great . . . for a mom.
- The kids need a man in the house.
- You had a C-section. That is awesome!
- You don’t even have stretch marks.
- Your ex lives in the neighborhood? Is his place near here? Do you ever run into him? Does he hate that you date?
- Did you get your tubes tied?
- How much child support do you get?
- When guys marry single moms and their daughters grow into teenagers, I don’t know how they can control themselves.
- My ex has a lot of issues so I really want to get married so my daughter has a new mom.
- Not a lot of guys are interested in women with kids, you know.
All of these are showstoppers. She will block your number and you will never see her again.
So, what can you do to set yourself up for success? Do not assume that just because she has her kids she’s not available. If she’s interested in you, she will be willing to get a babysitter. Make sure you keep that in mind when asking her out so she has plenty of time to make those kinds of arrangements. In addition, because she has the expense of paying for the babysitter, it would be nice if you paid for at least part of the date. It is a nice gesture. Let her know that you love kids. If you have your own, talk about them. If you don’t, talk about your nieces and nephews or other children you have relationships with. She will want to know how you interact with kids. Don’t assume she is looking for a financial rescue or that she’s looking for a new dad for her children. What she is looking for is a new romantic partner. First and foremost, focus on that relationship. When she is ready, let her decide when to introduce you to her children. It is unwise for any single parent to parade a bunch of potential partners through their children’s lives. Timing is everything. So, do not pressure her into meeting her children before she feels ready.
So, why not give those hot single mommas a whirl? Don’t dismiss what they have to offer just because it may seem on the surface to be a bit more complicated than dating a single woman without children. You may miss the relationship of your dreams.